The Silence of Shunning: A Conversation With Kipling William
Shunning is an act of control and aggression, with powerful consequences.
Excerpt:I’ve written a number of pieces about mobbing, which is group bullying against an individual. Yet one of the most painful aspects of mobbing may be the least discussed—the deliberate ostracizing and shunning of a person who was once a member of the group.
Some religions—such as Scientologists, Jehovah’s Witnesses and even the Amish—have formal policies to shun those who question or leave the religion. And in communities, a person or whole family can be shunned for having the wrong skin color, supporting the wrong political candidate, or painting their front door the wrong shade of yellow.
In short, shunning is a common practice that many people have suffered or perpetuated, yet it is surprising how little attention has been paid to this ubiquitous form of aggression.
One person who has paid attention, however, is Purdue psychologist Kipling Williams. In his book, Ostracism: The Power of Silence, Williams suggests that shunning and ostracism are particularly prevalent in the workplace when a worker has reported wrongdoing, because it is more difficult to prove retaliation when the aggressive act is a non-act. Yet the power of that non-action to wound a worker is profound, as Williams’ research has shown.
So just how bad is shunning and ostracism? Williams has found that people who are ostracized suffer deeply, including the obvious loss of self-esteem and depression, but also including physiological symptoms such as ulcers, suppression of the immune system, anxiety, psychosis (in prolonged isolation, such as prisoners kept in solitary confinement), and a loss of feeling valued or having any meaningful existence. But perhaps more troubling is the rage that is associated with being ostracized.
People feel rage when they have lost all sense of control, and no one will intervene to help them, while going to great lengths to keep the person excluded and deprived of control. Moreover, the human need for inclusion and recognition is so great that when a person has lost all sense of control over their social environment through shunning, they may resort to anti-social acts of aggression just to regain it. And so I asked Williams if shunning someone for bullying behaviors might have the unintended consequences of escalating their aggression.
“They might become retaliatory to get a response. They might escalate what they’re doing just to get someone’s acknowledgment, even if it’s a negative response. We can see that with a lot of the interviews we do; when people get the silent treatment from their partners it can lead to violence.
Doesn't this sound familiar readers? Think of what happened at one of the Kingdom hall of Jehovah's Witnesses in Hamburg recently.
Source:
The Silence of Shunning: A Conversation With Kipling William
