“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17:27 (NIV) |
Have you ever found yourself having an out-of-control reaction in response to someone else’s out-of-control actions? I understand. It’s all so very hard. When I share biblical discernment with someone I love, but then they go away and do the opposite, it’s maddening. My bottled-up wisdom in the midst of their chaos produces extreme anxiety. My resulting reaction is not me being dramatic or overly emotional … I’m simply trying to save us both from the impending train wreck I can see so obviously headed our way! A perfect example would be the two gallon-sized baggies stuffed full of ripped-up papers currently sitting on my dresser. Why do I have baggies of ripped papers? So glad you asked. Some important documents came in the mail one day. In my defense, my name was included on the envelope. But the minute I opened the envelope and started reading through the contents, my blood pressure skyrocketed. One of my people was moving forward with something I deeply disagreed with. I had absolutely vocalized my many reasons to shut down this idea. I couldn’t believe they weren’t listening to me. In hindsight, I should have simply reminded my family member of my boundary to not bail them out financially if this decision was as detrimental as I thought it would be. Instead, I just stood there in my kitchen and slowly tore those papers into as many tiny pieces as I could. And when every last paper was torn, I decided that wasn’t good enough. I also tore the folders they were in and the mailing envelopes as well. I quietly stuffed all the mess into the baggies and sat them on the counter with a note that read, “This is all I have to say about this situation.” It felt so good in that moment. But the next morning, I woke up and was like, Really, Lysa?! Really?! All my family member said back to me was, “Wow, you’ve made quite a statement.” Now I was the one who needed to apologize and figure out a way to tell the company needing to resend the papers I accidentally, on purpose, in a crazed moment, shredded. And when I did, the lady who worked at that company told me she’d recently read one of my books. Perfect. Wonderful. Ugh. Controlling ourselves cannot be dependent on our efforts to control others. [ more... ] [ Spanish Version ] |
