Article Polygamy is Wrong for Christians: Matthew 19:1-9

Polygamy is Wrong for Christians: Matthew 19:1-9, Part 1​

(June 13, 2021)

I call myself Vivi at online meetings. I chose "Polygamy is Wrong for Christians" as the title of this article so that readers don't have to read on and on to figure out what the article is about. Polygamy for Christians isn't a scriptural "gray area", nor is it alright for Christians to be polygamists as long as they live in a country or state where polygamy is legal. Polygamy is wrong for Christians even if the polygamist's father, mother, and the grandparents on both sides of the family practiced polygamy. Although financial hardship may be incurred when a polygamous marriage ends, polygamous marriage for Christians is wrong.​

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So, now let's move on to the scriptural evidence in support of this statement: Polygamy is wrong for Christians.​

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Matthew 19:1-9 gives this account of Jesus' teaching regarding marriage:​

"1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, He left Galilee and went into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there. 3 Then some Pharisees came and tested Him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” 4 Jesus answered, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses order a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hardness of heart; but it was not this way from the beginning. 9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery." BSB.​

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Notice the last verse of this passage, verse nine. Again, it says, "Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery." Let's pause here and do a short mental exercise. This verse is saying that if a husband divorces a wife who has not committed sexual immorality, and if that husband then proceeds to marry another woman, ...then that husband, by marrying another woman, does himself commit adultery. So far, so good. There is nothing new here. But now, just for the moment and as a mental exercise, let's remove the words "except for sexual immorality" from this well-known scriptural text. (We are going to put the words back where they belong, as soon as we finish this exercise.) Without those four words, the verse would read, "Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife,..., and marries another woman, commits adultery." As true Christians, we find this "adjusted" verse unsettling. The passage at Matthew 19:1-9 includes the words "except for sexual immorality", and it is important that we not "take away" any words contained in the Bible. Jesus didn't completely forbid Christians to get a divorce. He didn't teach that "no divorce" could ever be had by a Christian. Jesus' words showed that sexual immorality committed by a wife allowed her Christian husband to divorce her and to marry someone else. It is worthwhile to mention, at this point, that a similar verse at Mark 10:11 and 12 does not include the words "except for sexual immorality", which are contained in the passage in Matthew. Mark 10:11 and 12 reads, "11 So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark's words do not contradict Matthew's, and they add an important detail that we may examine in a following article on this subject of polygamy. So, let's put those four words (the ones that we had removed) back where they rightly belong. Mathew 19:9 says, "9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery." BSB.​

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By now you may be thinking, "But, you are talking about divorce. What does allowing no divorce "except for sexual immorality" have to do with polygamy being wrong for Christians?" Well, if a man sees a woman who he wants to marry, but he already HAS a wife, and his wife has not committed sexual immorality, then he is lacking a crucial element to reach his goal of marrying that new and exciting woman who he has recently seen and wants to marry. To his chagrin, according to Jesus' words, the man in our story can only get a divorce from his first wife if she has committed sexual immorality. Now remember, in verse nine Jesus says, "Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery." So, is there any way for the man in our story to get to marry that other woman he recently spotted and wants to marry, while "not" committing adultery? Can he marry her while still being faithful to Jesus' teaching? Importantly, the wife who the man already "has", has not committed sexual immorality. His first wife has not provided her husband with the "sexual immorality" that Jesus taught would be required in order for the husband to divorce her and marry another. If the husband divorces his wife, who has been sexually faithful to him, and marries another woman, Jesus has clearly said that the husband would be committing adultery. The man would be guilty of adultery. He would simultaneously be guilty of fornication since adultery is a form of fornication.​

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Finally, the man says to himself, "I've got it! I won't divorce my first wife at all! I will keep her. And I will also marry that other woman who I recently saw and liked. I will bring that new woman into my home. I will call her my "wife", too. I will have sexual relations with her and I will have children with her. And now, I can be a Christian with two wives, because I am not violating the instructions that Jesus gave. Remember, Jesus said, "9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery." But, I haven't DIVORCED my first wife! I've KEPT her. And, since I still have my first wife, no one can say that I have committed adultery by marrying a second wife."​

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Now please reason on this, brothers and sisters. Was THIS the lesson on marriage that Jesus intended to teach the Pharisees through his words at Matthew 19:1-9? Of course not. The man who marries a second wife, without divorcing the first, is a polygamist and an adulterer.​

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Through this short article, I have provided strong evidence that polygamy is an unchristian practice and that it is wrong for Christians to live in a polygamous arrangement. Other parts of the Bible contain more evidence that polygamy is wrong for Christians. I plan to write a "Part 2" article on this same subject, in which I will include yet more scriptures showing that Jesus' followers, those who are baptized as Christians, should not practice polygamy.​

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It has been my privilege to share my scriptural reasonings on this subject with you.​

- Vivi​

 

[Vivi]

Polygamy is Wrong for Christians: Mark 10:11 and 12, Part 2​

(June 20, 2021)

My name is Vivi at online meetings. This is my second article in the series, "Polygamy is Wrong for Christians".​

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We begin by reading the Bible verses that are part of the title of this article. Mark 10:11 and 12 says, "11 So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” BSB.​

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These were Jesus' words to his disciples. He was obviously talking about divorce, not polygamy. Yet, what Jesus said in these verses has a direct bearing on understanding why polygamy is wrong for Christians. When we read the verses above, we get a sense of the importance of marital fidelity. In Mark's account, Jesus explained that whether in the case of the male spouse or the female spouse, divorcing ones spouse and marrying another person was "adultery".​

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Further along in this same chapter of Mark, and in a completely different context, adultery is mentioned. Mark 10:17-19 says, "17 As Jesus started on His way, a man ran up and knelt before Him. “Good Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 “Why do you call Me good?” Jesus replied. “No one is good except God alone.19 You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not cheat others, honor your father and mother.’" Jesus quoted those commandments to the rich man, and Jesus included the commandment to "not commit adultery". This was in answer to the rich man's question, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?”​

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Let's finish reading this passage and hear what the rich man said in response to Jesus. Mark 10:20 says, “Teacher,” he replied, “all these I have kept from my youth.” 21 Jesus looked at him, loved him, and said to him, “There is one thing you lack: Go, sell everything you own and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.” 22 But the man was saddened by these words and went away in sorrow, because he had great wealth." BSB.​

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"Do not commit adultery" is one of the commands that Jesus listed when he was asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?” So, adultery is a matter of serious concern. In Mark's previous account, where he quoted Jesus as saying that a husband or wife who divorces his or her mate and marries another person commits adultery, Jesus was talking about a sin that could keep a person from inheriting "eternal life".​

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So now, let's take one more sobering look at Mark 10:11 and 12, which says, "11 So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” BSB.​

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Jesus didn't authorize polygamy for Christians, so it makes sense that he wouldn't give instructions on divorce, marriage, or re-marriage specifically for the non-existent "polygamous Christians", ...and he didn't. Here is what this scriptural passage in Mark doesn't say. It DOESN'T say, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her, ...BUT he can marry another woman, and does not commit adultery, as long as he KEEPS his wife." No, the scripture doesn't say this. And here's what the next verse doesn't say. It DOESN'T say, "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery, ...BUT she can marry another man, and does not commit adultery, as long as she DOESN'T divorce her husband." Jesus did not teach that a man could avoid committing adultery by taking an additional wife, while not divorcing his first wife. And Jesus did not teach that a woman could avoid committing adultery by marrying an additional man, while not divorcing her first husband.​

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Jesus did not explicitly SAY that no Christian man could have two wives, nor did he explicitly SAY that no Christian woman could have have two husbands. In these verses, Jesus does not mention polygamy. Jesus does not talk about taking an "additional female sex partner" and calling that person a "wife". And he does not talk about taking an "additional male sex partner" and calling that person a "husband". But, I hope that common sense will triumph and it will be obvious that taking an "extra spouse" would constitute "adultery". In Mark's account, the wife would commit adultery by divorcing her husband and marrying another man, just as the husband would commit adultery by divorcing his wife and marrying another woman. It was as an "equal opportunity" sin. Neither spouse could divorce the other and marry a different person without commiting adultery. The concept of marrying another person without divorcing the first spouse was not mentioned by Jesus in this passage in Mark, nor did Jesus mention it in the similar passage in Matthew which we considered in the previous article.​

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In this same chapter 10 of Mark, verses 6 through 9, Jesus said to the Pharisees, "6 However, from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”​

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The teaching that a man can add another woman to his marriage, is not a Christian teaching. That is to say, Christ didn't teach it. Nor did Christ teach that a woman could add another man to her marriage.​

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Jesus directed the Pharisees attention back to the beginning of creation when they questioned him on divorce. One who follows Christ is a Christian. A person gets baptized as a Christian because he, or she, accepts and follows the teachings of Christ. Christ didn't teach that Christians were allowed to have multiple spouses. Polygamy for Christians is a "precept of men", not a precept of Christ. (Matthew 15:9) Whether a Christian followed Christ when he was still alive on earth, or today in 2021, or during the intervening centuries, a Christian would not have a polygamous union, because Christ did not authorize this.​

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At Matthew 15:7-9, Jesus said to some Pharisees and scribes, "7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 ‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’" Weymouth New testament puts verse 9 this way, "9 but it is in vain they worship Me, while they lay down precepts which are mere human rules". Those who teach that polygamy is an acceptable life choice for Christians "teach as doctrine the precepts of men".​

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There is one more point that I want to make before closing. It is this: For a Christian, a polygamous union is not a legitimate marriage. It is adultery. It is fornication. The man with whom the "extra wife" has been living and having sexual relations is not her husband. So, any extra wife in a so-called "polygamous marriage" does NOT commit adultery when she LEAVES the "polygamous husband" and marries another man.​

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I appreciate being allowed to post my article here, and the generosity of the owner of this website.​

- Vivi

 

[Vivi]

Polygamy is Wrong for Christians: Luke 16:18 | Part 3​

(June 27, 2021)​

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Hello. At the meetings held online, my name is Vivi. In the previous articles, we saw that the scriptures at Matthew 19:1-9 and Mark 10:11 and 12 gave strong evidence that an extra wife of a polygamous man is free to leave him and remarry. Further, in so doing, she would not be committing adultery.​

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An extra wife of a polygamous man needs to know and hear the truth of her "marital status". The Bible, not man-made teachings, establishes what is or isn't a marriage. A woman who wishes to be free of a polygamous marriage may be pressured to continue as an extra wife. The polygamous man might want her to stay with him. Her relatives might want her to stay with him. But, she deserves to know the truth. Christians are not supposed to have multiple wives or multiple husbands. She not only has the scriptural "right" to leave the polygamous arrangement, but leaving it is the morally "correct" thing for her to do. Terminating sexual relations with the polygamous man will mean that she can, from that day forward, serve God as do other Christians, either as a single person or as a monogamously married person.​

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Support from her Christian brothers and sisters will be important to her. She may need emotional, spiritual, and material help. Ideally, the polygamous man with whom she was involved will help her leave him and provide material support. We would want any woman to suffer as little as possible during her transition from a polyamous arrangement to a life free of polygamy.​

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The Bible does not endorse or condone polygamy for Christians. When anyone tells a woman that polygamy is acceptable for Christians, that person is lying to her. When women tell a woman that polygamy is acceptable for Christians, they are lying to her. If a woman's own father and mother tell her that polygamy is acceptable for Christians, they are lying to her. The Bible condemns adultery. A woman who has sexual relations with a man who is married to another woman commits adultery. For a Christian, polygamy is wrong. For a Christian, polygamy is a sin.​

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So, it's a "big lie" when a man, men, a woman, women, an entire social culture, or a spiritual leader tells a woman that Christ approves of her becoming a man's second wife while that man is still married to his first wife. Anyone who tells a woman that Christ approves of polygamous "mariage" is lying to her. Jesus taught his followers what was required of them morally, and it didn't include a provision for "polygamous marriage".​

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Let's now consider the Bible text at Luke 16:18, where Luke quotes Jesus. It says,"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." This is very similar to Mark's account of Jesus' words found at Mark 10:11 and 12, which says, "11 So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” BSB.​

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If a polygamous marriage were truly a God-approved union, then none of the extra wives would be able to leave the husband and remarry, because any man marrying that divorced "extra wife" would, in so doing, commit adultery. If a polygamous marriage were truly a God-approved union, then any divorced extra wife leaving that relationship would have to remain single, while her polygamous husband could continue having sexual relations with all of his other polygamous wives. That doesn't seem fair, does it? No. It doesn't seem equitable. In a Christian monogamous marriage, neither the husband nor the wife would be having sexual relations during a separation. And if a marriage mate were to have sexual relations with someone other than the spouse, that would be adultery. But, in polygamy, look what happens! During a separation, only the wife would be without sexual relations, while the "husband" would be well-attended sexually by his other "wife",...or two, or three "wives". He would continue to live day to day with all his needs cared for. That would make it quite easy for a polygamous "husband" to weather a separation, wouldn't it? Even a very long separation from the "wife" who had left him would barely phase him at all. While the "wife" who separated from the polygamous "husband" would not be able to have sexual relations with another man, because that would be adultery. Now back to the first sentence in this paragraph. It begins, "If a polygamous marriage were truly a God-approved union,...". That sentence is in the "conditional tense", and nothng in this paragraph has been reality. This pargraph was conjecture. I wrote it to show that Jesus' words on divorce and remarriage of Christians are only "fair" when applied to monogamous marriage, not when applied to polygamous marriage. Jesus didn't need to give instructions on divorce tailored for polygamists, because no Christians would be polygamists.​

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At this point, would the same spiritual advisors who had told the woman that her polygamous marriage was legitimate and God-approved then suddenly change to a different rule? Jesus taught about divorce and remarriage for Christians, but he only spoke of a man and his wife becoming divorced, not of the disolution of any polygamous relationship. Would a polygamous woman's advisors tell another man who wants to marry her, "Oh, yes. Go right ahead and marry her. You will not be committing adultery by marrying her. She was the second wife in a polygamous marriage, so marrying her won't make you an adulterer"? If spiritual advisors teach her that divorce from a polygamous husband frees her to remarry, unlike divorce from a monogamous husband, then would not such a teaching be an admission by those spiritual advisors that the polygamous marriage hadn't been a legitimate, God-approved union from its beginning? Would it not be grossly unfair if a divorced extra wife from a polygamous union could not remarry without being an adulteress herself and without causing the man who marries her to be an adulterer, yet all the while her "polygamous ex-husband" continues having unlimited and uncondemned sexual relations with his remaining wives? Of course that would be unfair. And this was not what Jesus taught his followers. Jesus hadn't authorized polygamy for his followers. He spoke on the dissolution of a Christian marriage, not on the dissoluton of a "polygamist marriage".​

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Or, would those spiritual advisors in our hypothetical story give the man who wants to marry another man's extra wife these following instructions? Would they say, "Her polygamous marriage was legitimate and God-approved, so she must remain single, and you would commit adultery if you marry her, although her ex-husband has several other wives"? This advice would uphold the concept that a polygamous marriage is just as binding and God-approved as a monogamous marriage. But would it be "true"? No. It would be a lie. The divorced polygamous "wife" does not commit adultery by remarrying, nor does the man who marries her commit adultery. And the reason this new couple would not be committing adultery when they marry is because the "polygamous marriage" was itself an adulterous union from its inception, and was never a God-approved, Christian marriage.​

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Jesus words to the Pharises at Luke 16:18 were, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." But, for Christians, polygamy isn't a "marriage", and the women who leave those relationships are immediately available for a morally clean remarriage, if they so wish.​

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It's not just women who have been lied to by religious and cultural leaders. Men have also been lied to and deceived. In order to be one of Jesus' followers, a polygamist man should cease the practice of polygamy and conform to the moral standards that Jesus taught. A polygamist man who wishes to become a Christian should send away his extra wives and keep only his first wife.​

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During the time of Jesus' ministry, other people commented on his words. I plan to talk about those recorded comments in my next article. Thank you for being my audience.​

- Vivi​

 

[Vivi]

Polygamy is Wrong for Christians: Matthew 19:10-12 | Part 4​

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At online meetings, I "log on" as Vivi. Having seen in previous articles of this series that polygamy is a man-made arrangement, but not a Christ-made arrangement, what more does the Bible say that could help polygamists make the transition to becoming followers of Christ?​

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Let's review Jesus' words on divorce that we have considered in previous articles of this series.​

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Matthew 19:1-9 says, "1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, He left Galilee and went into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there. 3 Then some Pharisees came and tested Him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” 4 Jesus answered, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses order a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hardness of heart; but it was not this way from the beginning. 9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”"​

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Jesus' disciples react to what Jesus has just finished saying. Matthew 19:10-12 records their exchange, as follows: "10 His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”​

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Jesus' disciples took seriously what Jesus had said. In verse eight, Jesus reviewed what Moses had permitted and his reason for doing this. But in verse nine, Jesus, the one all Christians follow, told them how things would be. He begins his sentence in verse nine with the words, "Now I tell you...". This was Jesus himself speaking directly to his disciples. How Jesus would instruct his followers on divorce was different from what Moses had permitted Israelite men to do. Verse nine reads, "Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”. Jesus didn't need authorization from the priests or the Pharisees to make this change on what was proper for a Christian married couple. And those who recognized Jesus as the Christ were not seeking ways to circumvent his teachings.​

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The permanence of the marriage bond for a Christian was not lost on Jesus' disciples. It would be important for a man to choose a wife carefully. And after marrying, it would be important for him to show kindness and forgiveness to his wife. A Christian husband would cultivate a good relationship with his wife. In the days of Moses, a man could write a certificate of divorce and send his wife away, even for small annoyances. Then he could start over with a new wife. But, for Christian men, those days were over.​

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And "when" would Jesus' instructions go into effect? Jesus didn't give any indication that there would be a delay in implementing his instructions. He also didn't offer any "special concessions" to his followers who were already married. Jesus didn't, for example, say, "Oh, well, if you got married before I said this, it doesn't apply to you. You can still send your wife away with a certificate of divorce even though she hasn't committed sexual immorality. And you can marry someone else. I won't count it against you as adultery. Or, plan "B", if you were married before I said this, you can go ahead and marry another wife, keep the one you've got, and have two wives. I won't count that against you as adultery either. Just do it however you want to do it, and that's fine with me." No. I don't find Jesus offering his followers a "two or more wife" option, do you?​

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Once Jesus made clear how Christians should view marriage, those who loved him and had decided to follow him were not looking for ways to disobey the standards Christ set, while still calling themselves "Christian". Such hypocrisy would be pointless. A man who practices polygamy, but wants to become a Christian, should cease having sexual relations with any woman other than his first wife.​

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Thank you for reading my series of articles, Polygamy is Wrong for Christians.​

- Vivi​

 

[LeeB]

Human marriage is a shadow of Christ and the church. Jesus has only one bride not many. Adam had only one bride, Eve as did Abraham, Sarah. It seems that when scriptures record instances of polygamy the results were negative.

 

[Outcast]

Think about the sin of "lust." For someone to marry another, should we think lust probably happened beforehand? The result of that sin may end with another one.