My mom died on Sunday. I've grieved her three times now. I grieved her when I was in the organization because therapy showed me how much she had abused me. I grieved her when I was disfellowshipped and woke up because I saw what those evil men in NY had stolen from me. And I grieve her now, simply for being gone. My mom doesn't get to wake up until she literally wakes up. Until my Lord calls her from her grave.
I got to tell her I forgive her. I do. For one it is a command of Jesus and another she did the best she could. She did so many awful things, but those were her best. I look forward to one day knowing my mom. My healed mom. My whole mom. My restored mom. I think when her day of judgment and her day of choice comes, she will make the absolute best choice, because underneath all the pain she had, I think there was a heart searching for Father. There had to be.
I got to tell her I forgive her. I do. For one it is a command of Jesus and another she did the best she could. She did so many awful things, but those were her best. I look forward to one day knowing my mom. My healed mom. My whole mom. My restored mom. I think when her day of judgment and her day of choice comes, she will make the absolute best choice, because underneath all the pain she had, I think there was a heart searching for Father. There had to be.
