“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 (NIV) |
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| Source: 5 Things To Remember When Conversations Turn Into Conflict | Lysa TerKeurst | Proverbs31.org Excerpt: When I find myself in a conflict, I want to find the right words to help get to the other side. But that isn’t always possible. While talking is good, sometimes the conversation starts running in a circle, and there aren’t any productive words left to say. But rather than give up, I’ve learned that spending time getting quiet before the Lord can really be the best remedy for tangled situations. Taking a step back from all the emotion, frustration and exhaustion to sit quietly with Jesus will do more to untangle a mess than anything else I’ve ever found. Do you ever feel like relationships are hard to navigate? Maybe today you find yourself trying to figure out a situation that’s complicated, messy and unpredictable. If so, here are five beautiful things I’ve found when I stop trying to fix it all and instead get quiet with God: 1. We can feel safe enough to humble ourselves. In the heat of a mess, the last thing I want to do is get humble. I want to overexplain and prove my point. But I’m learning I have to step out of the battle and humbly ask God to speak truth to my heart for things to start to make sense. Never have I had a relationship issue where I didn’t contribute at least something to the problem. Usually, I can only see this something in the quiet. 2. God will lift us up to a more rational place. When we are in the heat of a tangled relationship, our emotions can drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to make the choice to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution. 3. Anxiety gives way to progress. We can pour out our anxious hearts to Jesus, who loves us right where we are, how we are. ... Trying to fix another person will only add to our anxiety. Letting Jesus work on us is where real progress can happen. 4. We see our real enemy isn’t the person with whom we’re in conflict. The truth is, we have an enemy, and it’s not each other. ...in the quiet, I become alert and can gain a strategy for acting and reacting in a more self-controlled manner. 5. We can rest assured God will use this conflict for good — no matter how it turns out. Sometimes relationships grow stronger through conflict. Because I can’t control the other person, I must keep focusing on the good God is working out in me through this and leave the outcome with Him. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10-11, NIV) In the end, this struggle can be used by God to make me stronger and more capable in my relationships. If I am humble enough to receive from Him in the quiet what He wants to teach me through this, I can rest assured with whatever the outcome is.... OUR FAVORITE THINGSWe can love people … but we can’t change them. While we can’t control their behavior, we can draw godly boundaries that will actually lead to progress for the relationship. To overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting by applying practical strategies to help you communicate, keep and implement healthier patterns, download Lysa’s free resource “I Can’t Keep Doing This: 5 Reasons Your Boundaries Aren’t Working” for free here.[More...] |
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